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Ten.Six Hundred & Twenty-Nine

1. Still a little sleepy.  

2. No sound of rain but the light coming in through the blinds still seems too gray.  

3. I can feel the nerves kicking it. I know it’s berves because I keep walking around the kitchen in circles.  

4. Cloud shadows on the rolling hills. The sheep are very close to the fence today. I love these little sheep so much you’d think they were my own.  

5. Loons and a crane. Breakfast is less than stellar which feels surprising and disappointing after having had two nice meals there.  

6. I show them where I work. Introduce some of the kids to my coworkers. 

7. I tend to compartmentalze my worlds whereas my husband doesn’t so much. So when I have these crossings I feel odd. And yet it also makes me feel more whole.  

8. I enter and watch a scene of the movie. I have a fat stack of napkins in my hands that will fall if I reach up to wipe away the tears. I will need to watch this again from the beginning.  

9. I wish I could have just a few more days with them.

10. I fall asleep with flash cards in my hands. It’s time to sleep. 

Ten.Six Hundred & Twenty-Eight
  1. Waking up to the sound of rain.

  2. I head to the kitchen to put the potatoes in the oven and then return to my room and take my time getting ready. Still listening to the sound of rain.

  3. “Traveling the world in wine, I see.” “I have an exam on Sunday so I’m trying to give my palate a little refresher on a few things.” Before we finish checking out he tells me to trust myself. To go with my first choice because it will usually be right. Something about his white hair and tiny gold hoops and round face makes me think of a buddha.

  4. Trust myself.

  5. They went to In-n-Out so we go to get tacos.

  6. Her name is Monse. I repeat it. I won’t be able to say it like she says it but I love it. It’s a quiet name that also feels strong. I google it to find the meaning. It’s a Catalan name, short for Montserrat which means mountain. Quiet and strong.

  7. We watch “The Indian in the Cupboard,” one of my favorite books growing up but I understand why it’s no longer talked about.

  8. He finishes cooking the turkey burgers while I sit through and blind taste the whites we bought today. I got 3 out of 5 right.

  9. Trust yourself.

  10. Games of 3-way War and speed and Uno. Full with nerves, good food, the joy of watching the children have time with their grandparents.

Ten.Six Hundred & Twenty-Seven
  1. Spring.

  2. Quiet moments alone in the kitchen.

  3. We run down the plan for the day. Woods. Lunch. Beach. Golden Gate Bridge. Baseball practice for the boys.

  4. Middle seat all the way in the back. A different point of view. Holding hands with the two youngest. The softness of youth.

  5. This drive always feels harrowing.

  6. The way the light breaks through the trees. Sun dappled stream. The sound of water bubbling by.

  7. Tomato soup at the park cafe instead. It’s just as good as what I had at Long Meadow Ranch but without the drizzle of infused oil.

  8. I hadn’t intended on getting my feet wet but here I am with white foam breaking across the toes. The coolness of the water is refreshing. She falls trying to escape the water. The sound of the waves crashing. I could have sat there all day.

  9. The colors of the bay. The city skyline. I remember that we live here now.

  10. Yes, ‘85 was indeed a good birth year.

Ten.Six Hundred & Twenty-Six
  1. What’s taking me so long to get out of the bathroom?

  2. Bacon, unwrap the banana bread, a full pot of coffee, some eggs.

  3. I understand the anxiety of driving around on the unknown roads.

  4. Little breaks from the rain driving up to the valley. I wonder where she is?

  5. Even in the rain it’s still so beautiful. Every time I think I don’t want to be here, I visit again and then I do.

  6. Novicium. The smell of a barrel room. The crunch of the gravel. The cheese. Castelvetrano olives. Olive oil. Crunchy bread. Continuum.

  7. Long Meadow Ranch. Tomato soup. Cheddar biscuits. Crimson Sin.

  8. Opus One. Orchids. 2009 and 2015. Nancy. David. Sun and sun and sun.

  9. This is the way it should be done.

  10. He bought me a fancy wine key for the exam. Made from french oak barrels. Sides stained with red.

Ten.Six Hundred & Twenty-Five
  1. They’re on their first leg.

  2. Of course she’s up. We whip up some banana bread. I bet she won’t even eat it even though she’s happy to help. I can’t wait for the coffee and the bread to be done.

  3. Now to clean.

    4. My Haunted House.  

    5. He’s sitting in the driveway with salami in his hand waiting for them to arrive.  

    6. Too late for ribs.  

    7. 5 days. Surprisingly calm.  

    8. Laughter. Grayed-over skies. They said the neighbor threw the balls back over the fence. This is way smaller than 1/3 of an acre.  

    9. Wente Riva Ranch Pinot Noir. Excited for Continuum and Opus.  

    10. Milk peel.