Ten.Four Hundred & Twelve

1. It did rain after all. Thank goodness. The earth is so dry. 

2. The way the lights blur through the tears on the window. The darkness of this morning. The quiet. I make the coffee earlier than usual and start a load of laundry. 

3. He's taking the kids to school. It feels like a 20-minute vacation. It's all about the little things. It really is. 

4. 11 am showing so we leave to have lunch in Schaumburg. 

5. I don't feel like myself. My body feels sour which is reflecting in my mood. I feel like I've been saying this over and over to myself for months. My body is telling me that it's not happy and I've been ignoring her and going right back to the cheese plate. She's craving good sleep, whole foods, meaningful movement. 

6. It's dark and it's cold and those are two things I dislike about most indoor spaces. I think of what we will call home in California. It doesn't need to be big (in fact, I welcome a break from cleaning so much square footage) but it does need a lot of natural light. A sense of space even if I am close to my neighbors. But light is a must.

7. Because the writer dreams never go away. 

8. I decide to cook up the Chicken Francese recipe that I keep seeing but have never made. I need a white wine so I pick up Italian Pinot Grigio and Vernaccia. 

9. So many tomatoes. I feel abundant in a way that I haven't felt in a long time. Attention leads to gratitude. I'm consciously trying to refocus. 

10. Between the house showing, 10 pounds of tomatoes, two rainbows and a heavy rain, I feel like things are about to turn around.