Ten.Two Hundred & Sixty-Eight

1. I can feel myself waking even though I don't want to be up yet. But I'm hot now that the littlest one has come into the bed and I can tell that the sky is beginning to lighten.

2. Granola. It's the easiest thing to make on this Sunday. 

3. The sun fills the back yard in an orange glow. Nothing is green yet though and so the yellow-orange of the light plus the brownness of winter mix to make this odd, yet beautiful, orange-gold  hue.

4. I set to work on packet that we will email to the women of FDC. I tell him that I like this kind of work. That I'd forgotten how much I enjoy putting together presentations, things that look beautiful and smart and organized. "People get paid to do that, you know," he says. "I know."

5. Each time I remove the back from a chicken I think back to the day in the apartment when I watched a Youtube video on how to butcher a chicken. I had to do it in order to save money; it turned out to be that a whole chicken was usually cheaper per pound than buying it pre-cut. I still use the same serated knife and make swift movements around the thigh bones. 

6. I find a spot in his office where the sun is coming in and sit there to warm myself. Lime LaCroix in one hand and "Parable of the Sower" in the other. 

7. “Embrace diversity. Unite— / Or be divided, robbed, ruled, killed / By those who see you as prey. / Embrace diversity / Or be destroyed.” - Parable of the Sower

8. I tell him about the book. And how this book, plus the movie, plus the last book made me remember (because we often forget) how none of us know how to survive. 

9. Pinot with the roasted chicken, roasted broccoli, potatoes covered in salt and pepper, garlic powder and smoked paprika. 

10. We both agree right now, in this moment. And we both feel relief. We'll see how we feel in the morning.