Ten.Two Hundred & Fifty-Nine

1. I do not hear the owls this morning. Only the hum of vehicles.

2. I lost the time to sit and write my pages and am instead trying to make a meal plan and a grocery list for the upcoming week. This takes me longer than I would like it to.

3. And there is the sun. It makes me think of seeds and soil, of purples and pinks and greens. I'm ready for green. I ready for newness. No. Not newness. Renewal. 

4. I can only laugh at slowly it moves. And how, because of its slowness, I can not try to make it do another thing while I wait, otherwise it makes it even slower. And so the lesson becomes not only one of patience but of focus. I can process only one thing at a time. 

5. The relief felt after hitting send. 

6. The questions that arise after the feeling of relief. 

7. Things I do when I don't know what to do: light candles, clean off the bathroom sink, scroll through Pinterest, make tea, watch bad horror movies. 

8. These two geese won't leave. They move back and forth between the pond and the median. I wonder if there is a nest somewhere near by.

9. I feel like chocolate cake. I buy the sugar and the powdered sugar. I know there is butter at home. And just enough flour. 

10. Burgers and fries. I eat my patty between two large leaves of butter lettuce. Pickle juice and ketchup and dijon mustard drip from my chin. Eating burgers never does look glamorous. But they are satisfying. I hadn't realized the depth of my hunger until then.