1. Up early to get last minute birthday things: m & m's and bacon and mozzarella.  

2. I wanted to be better at this by now.  

3. The air is so thick this morning but still I stand outside and watch the way the mist glows orange from the rising sun.  

4. No deer.  

5. I need to be studying. Instead I meditate for 10 minutes and then go downstairs to make guacamole and fresh chips. 

6. The three of us huddle around the hot pans squeezing lime juice onto the chips before we toss them into our mouths. This. I want to always remember the moments we huddled around the counter eating bites of things.  

7. We mark the wall with his name and the date. This somehow makes it all real. Makes this home feel like it belongs to us now. 

8. Chocolate cake so deep in color it's almost black. Perfectly moist. The slight bitterness from the cocoa countered by the sweetness of the ice cream. Sweet/Bitter. Food is a metaphor for Life. 

9. What is it that I will write?  

10. Cicadas.