Ten.One Hundred & Twenty-Two

1. The smell of the heat blowing in. 

2. The darkness. Like night. I can’t wait for the time to change; I want my sunrises back.  

3. Coffee times two. Exchange the costume. Buy a black shirt. The wind is kicking and I am bracing my body against the cold. Winter is coming.  

4. Winter is coming and this should be no surprise. 9 years I’ve been here and every time the season shifts I can feel the dread rising up. I’ve had only one easy winter here...one easy winter when life was lined up exactly the way I needed it in order to thrive. I am worried for what this winter will bring up for me.  

5. I edit photo after photo from my trip to the desert. There are the tens of cacti I will print out and hang. There is a Javelina and some coffee mugs and saguaro tattoos. 

6. I tear out and glue down some words. The one that keeps coming up for me is art. What is my art? How am I using it? How can I make a living from it?  

7. I see her name pop up on my phone and know I need to answer it. She had her baby in July, Thomas. He is named after her father who just passed away. First time mom just now getting more sleep. Her voice is still the same: a little nasally with a thick North Carolina drawl. Everyone needs a Kristin Cook. 

8. We eat dinner at 4:15 because basketball practice is at 6:30 and no one wants to run around with carnitas in their belly.  

9. This is going to be a long season.  

10.  “Your life is always calling you...”