Ten.One Hundred & Nineteen

1. Today I have to be up with the alarm. I see no light yet outside.  

2. I’m nervous.  

3. I sit down at the computer and write an outline for the children who will most likely be up before my husband: here’s what to wear for the weather today; here’s what to eat for your breakfast; here’s what to put in your lunch; don’t forget your snack. 

4. It’s so cold that I wonder if we should have rescheduled. But we are here and I have found a nice clearing.  

5. I need to trust myself.  

6. I find a Premier Cru Burgunday and we drink that with steak and frites and end with creme brûlée and a decaf coffee. 

7. As we make our way home I think of that quote from Anne of Green Gables where she says she’s grateful for Octobers. Even though it’s overcast, ribbons of red and gold and green tie up my eyes. And I remember that on some days I do really love it here.  

8. A few moments of rest.  

9. I need even more rest.  

10. I scroll through real quick and see that I haven’t really missed much at all. That maybe I prefer the quiet messiness of my own mind over the noise that happens in these virtual spaces. A reminder to be constantly evaluating my container for media consumption. What truly feeds me? And what just leaves me empty?