Ten.Four Hundred & Eleven

1. She said she wanted scones. I am going to try to make these scones today. 

2. Do I have enough coffee? Scones and then also he wanted a smoothie. I should have bought that $17 Oster blender at Target. But really I want the real-deal Vitamix or Ninja or whatever. But I really ought to stop using the food processor for these kinds of things. 

3. Rain?

4. I hesitate but remember that regardless, Thursdays are cleaning days and so it's best that I just do this. There is time for this anyway. 

5. I try to push away thoughts of us being here until winter. I think it would be easier if we knew exactly what the Plan B was for if we don't sell the house in a reasonable amount of time. What is "reasonable" anyway? Two months? Three months? Will they give us money? Will they pay the mortgage? Will they buy the house? This is the one problem with being the first: There is no protocol established yet for any of this. We are the guinea pigs. We are the ones crazy enough to do it. 

6. I bring myself to the front porch and feel the heat of the sun on the tops of my thighs. 

7. The best burger I've had in a really long time topped with aged white cheddar, bacon marmalade, bbq sauce, and an onion ring. 

8. Drop the shoulders. 

9. 11 am. 

10. I want my response to stop being "I'm just tired."