Ten.Three Hundred & Sixty-Six

1. I'm back on the alarm so that there's time for yoga today. The must-get-done list is long and there's also time at the pool in the late morning which means I need to do a bulk of the work before 10 am. 

2. But I need to feed myself first. 

3. Of course, I can't get all of it done. I get sidetracked by fonts and spacing and suddenly the whole hour is gone and it's time for me to pack a lunch and put on a swimsuit and get them out of the door. 

4. It's hot in the sun. I still do not like small talk. The kids are playing so nicely though, and the women are kind. It's not them. It's me. 

5. Pool concession stand and being knocked over by nostalgia. A paper cup full of seasoned shoestring fries. A big swirl of vanilla ice cream in a cake cone. 

6. I sit on the windowsill in his office and try to warm myself in the sun. We talk. We are always talking. And we've had conversations like this but not exactly like this and so it feels real but not real. So much of life these days has felt real but not real. 

7. Phone calls. 

8. I still am not sure what I feel. 

9. The watermelon has taken up almost all of the free space left in the garden. I need to prune back the tomato plants and stake what's left. Last night's harsh winds from the storm blew everything over and the cages can no longer bear the weight of the plants. 

10. I hope I can sleep tonight.