Ten.Three Hundred & Eighty-One

1. I don't want to get up. 

2. Watering. The melons are getting bigger and bigger and I think I see a new one. I had thought for sure that we were just going to have a big bed of vines so a little over a week ago we cut the plant back so that we'd have room to sit in the garden. Well, of course after that the watermelons appeared. It wasn't that there had been no cross-pollination. The root system couldn't bear the work of supporting all of the vegetation and fruit. By cutting away the excess we freed up energy for the good stuff. 

3. I look across the wetlands to try to spot the deer but I see nothing. Just a red-winged blackbird balanced so precariously atop a tall weed/flower. And there's also the smell of skunk. 

4. It's cool enough for me to use my shawl. I write words and then try to read a few. The dragonflies and I sit and watch. 

5. The thing about interviews like this is that I quite often forget the question once I begin to answer. At the end I always wonder if I actually said anything of substance but ultimately just trust that whatever needed to come out did. 

6. The Sacred Rebel. 

7. I decide no pool and instead opt for more wine study on the front porch. My eyes are tired from looking at screens. This is another reason I had not wanted to return. The phone is still my most favorite method of numbing away the anxiety I'm carrying about what's happening in the world and in my own life right now. 

8. Craving ice cream. 

9. I need to figure out how to trim back some of the growth.

10. The fool.