Ten.Two Hundred & Fifty-Five

1. The slow approach of morning. 

2. I think of walking up onto the hill and searching for feather from the owls that sat there early Sunday morning. 

3. Drink more water. 

4. A phone call with a friend 1,000 miles away. Listening for the words behind the words. 

5. Here and there the sun breaks through the clouds, the color of the daffodils sitting in my window. I pause for a moment in the hallway to soak it in. I have the whole house to myself today and it feels good. 

6. 44 days. We talk tiny details. Tiny. I've been thinking about this word "tiny." How even very tiny choices made today are the lines that sketch out our future. Like, it's actually very powerful to realize that yes, actually, you do matter. What you do matters. 

7. I eat my beets, drink some tea, snack on some air-popped popcorn as I map out the rest of my week. I could make my to-do lists much longer. But I don't.

8. Chicken pot pie. I feel like comfort food this week. I open up a Malbec which definitely does not pair with this meal, but it feels like the right wine for what I'm feeling right now. 

9. Well. I'm still craving cookies. I pulse flour, brown sugar, butter, a little salt in the food processor for a quick shortbread. Once it's cooled I cut it into little rectangles and then take one and put it between my teeth. It needs to be dipped in chocolate. 

10. I tell him that it's not about tricking yourself. It's about finding the words of the new story that needs to be rewritten and rewired into your brain. It's about changing the story. And by changing the story, maybe you can change your life.