Ten.Two Hundred & Forty-One

1. Rarely is he ever up before me but he’s leaving on a jet plane this morning.

2. The clarity of color in the sky. Yes, there will be sun today.  

3. I move from wall to wall with coffee in hand, falling into the light. Shadow play.  

4. The cleaning isn’t going to get done today. It probably doesn’t matter anyway. He’s not coming here for clean floors. Who goes anywhere for the clean floors? Maybe I care about clean floors too much.  

5. Chicken noodle soup. 

6. Rosemary focaccia with smoked sea salt. Too hot to eat before basketball practice. 

7. I keep thinking of how it felt to realize that I had a choice. That I could say “no.” That maybe I get to make it all in my own way. There is room for the yet to be imagined. 

8. Tomorrow is our last call. There is so much I want to say and I hope that it makes sense in some way.   

9. We wonder what’s so hard about compassion? I mean, why can’t we all just live by the golden rule? And yet, conversely, we are s beautifully flawed and imperfect that the barriers to feeling and knowing oneself and others can be thick like brambles.  

10. I always have a hard time sleeping when he’s not home.