Ten.Eighty-Five

1. Birthday breakfast in Geneva at Buttermilk. Farmhouse potatoes, bacon, scrambled eggs, english muffin, black coffee.  

2. I can overhear him talking about his divorce. He's bitter. I can tell because he says he's asked to work less so that he doesn't have to pay his ex so much money. "If she can do it, I can too." This is one of the messy and complicated divorces that involves hearings and many meetings. I am saddened for the little girl. I try to just think about my coffee. 

3. But we are happy and I am grateful. 

4. I've had to take her to the restroom 2 times and I realize that I am the only black person in the entire building. This is not a new feeling. But today I am very aware of it. White peoples are very rarely the only white peoples in a building. I wonder what it might feel like to not be aware.

5. The weight of otherness.  

6. It's hot. 

7. So much laundry. 

8. We settle on the 2006 Lynch-Bages to accompany his birthday dinner of steak with a blue cheese sauce. There is still quite a bit of dark fruit and leather on the nose, pencil lead and smooth tannins on the palate. 

9. I write a newsletter. Tell them 10 things.  

10. Water plus tea plus mucinex night time.