Ten.Ninety-Seven

1. When my eyes finally open there is so much light. I know it must be late.  

2. 7 AM. It’s okay. I am the source of time. I repeat this to myself while I brush my teeth and wash my face. I tell everyone that they need to get dressed; frozen waffles or granola for breakfast. I apologize for waking up late. Why am I always so quick to apologize?

3. He is talking to me about the paint on the ceiling and unevenness along the trim. He suggests that if it’s too hard for me to do it right then perhaps I shouldn’t do it at all. Noted.  

4. I accidentally press “cancel” instead of disregard. Decide to surrender to the moment and take a break to write my morning pages and eat lunch. Surrender might be the word of the month.  

5. I dig up a resume. It’s 3 years old. I wonder what I was trying to apply for back then. Today I just want an easy part-time gig at the local wine shop. I also spot a social media job for a local high-end grocery store. Food and wine. Food and wine.  

6. Trying to stay open. And keep faith.

7.  Chicken pot pie. I’m making it all wrong. But I think it’s gonna be okay. Fresh sage and rosemary, butter, can’t be that bad. 

8. 2015 Valle Escondido Gouguenheim Pinot Noir. 

9. Belly rubs. I say that I want this to be over but the reality is that I don’t. One day they will no longer need me. But right now they still need me to tuck them in. I love this. I love them. 

10. I want an ice cream cone. Haagen Däz. Something like a praline. Yes. Candy coated pecans and some kind of of caramel.