Ten.Two Hundred & Seventy-Six

1. It's an hour later than I usually wake up. 

2. I want to take a walk but it's only 18 degrees. The sun is bright but it's still too cold.

3. There will be a delivery today of a large piece of plywood. I intend to make a very large desk out of it. Maybe it will just lean against the wall and become a giant moodboard. 

4. At the library I find Nye, Nelson, Ryan, and Giovanni. I will start here.

5. We both stand and look through the windows at the expanse on the other side and talk uncomfortably about pergolas and shade.

6. Since when did arousal equal shame? I'm back to thinking about senses and sensuality and what happens to the creative life when we separate ourselves from feeling.

7.  Moon marked and touched by sun / my magic is unwritten... - Audre Lorde, "A Woman Speaks"

8. And then I remember that there is only momentum when there is movement. 

9. The box contains tiny treasures from India: prayer flags, a cloth-bound notebook, a tiny cloth doll, a mala, an image of Ganesh which I place in my windowsill next to the branch from a Polish Palm Sunday service.

10. Circle back to "why."