Ten.One Hundred & Sixty-Four

1. I put a pillow in my place and crawl over the youngest to get ready for the day.

2. Morning pages first. I use the last two pages in the journal. I am sad and yet satisfied. This one will stay close to me as I finish out the year. It's full of desert dreams.

3. Day two of no coffee. I warm up some ginger tea and sit by the fire place. 

4. I make a to-do list that I know won't get done. Except for the laundry. I have to do the laundry. 

5. Protect your time. Feed your inner life. Avoid too much noise. Read good books, have good sentences in your ears. Be yourself as often as you can. Walk. Take the phone off the hoot. Work regular hours. - Dani Shapiro, Still Writing

6. I think of Fever Dreams. I think of California. I think of how I'll be there three times before May. 

7. I see her Instagram story of sheep being herded somewhere in Petaluma and I think, "I can't wait to live there!" I think this is daydreaming? 

8. I've managed to keep the withdrawal headaches away with water and naps. Also: what a privilege it is to be able to sleep in the middle of the day. This is not lost on me. 

9. I'm feeling lethargic but play knockout with the boys at the end of practice anyway. I'm off. All my shots are short. Next week I'll be better. 

10. She's right. These cookies are full of artificial colors and flavors and I still love them anyway.