Ten.One Hundred & One

1. No alarm today because there is no school. The sun is just beginning to rise. Muddy shades of orange and pink.

2. Granola for breakfast. I hope they eat it.

3. I make the ask because I know that if I don't, I'm not going to get what I need. And I need this.

4. Sometimes you ask and you are overwhelmed by the ways in which others show up for you. Because they believe in you. I wonder if I believe in myself as much as everyone else believes in me.

5. I watch my Instagram stories and see that Napa and Sonoma are burning. My heart is breaking as I watch the violent way in which the earth is being engulfed in flames. I think of my friends and the people and the places I've come to love. My future home. 

6. Why am I making something for dinner that needs to be started at 3 pm?

7. He keeps talking about the fires. The coworkers who have lost homes. It stresses me out. It scares me. I think of everyone who has nothing. And not just the ones in the fires, but the ones in Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands and Houston. And the ones who lost and are losing not because of the natural disasters but because of the cultural and economic disasters.

8. We are so not in control.

9. I'll get to that resume tomorrow.

10. How to have both a full and a broken heart.